long time no blog

so i havent i blogged in a long time and i guess its cause life is just really shity right now. i basically told all the guys in my life to leave me alone and i dont ever talk to my mother anymore.she sent me a christmas card in the mail today that only said best wishes and merry christmas. i guess thats what happens when a parent really doesnt want her child anymore. i never thought i would feel this numb. i feel like im just a ghost in life. like no one notices or cares about me. oh well i guess just have to try and live life....