life as usual

life is going the same as usual.. sucky! my parents told me yesterday that they didnt want me home for christmas cause ill ruin their perfect family. and that i abuse my mother and they dont want me there to do that to her!! that all bull shit to me! i never abused my mom she abused me.. she told me a bunch of stuff that no mother should tell her child so i guess whatever i guess im staying here for christams! james is really sad about it cause he was so excited about the dance and best friends day... but he knows that if i go back there when my mom is acting like this she wont let me come back here.. so i get like 9 christmas things to go to.. i get a dorid for christmas so i can blog all the time:) anyways so guys news... jeremy told me they werent dating but i still dont believe him and camron says he is going to ask me to marry him!! idk if thats gonna work out with me cause there cant be a relationship without trust..plus i told him that i do have other guys im talking to so he knows everything... omg so there is this guy i have had a crush on sine forever and he chated me on facebook and i was down stairs and when i came back up i inboxed him and he told me to text him! now he wants to take me to the movies and stuff cause he said he liked me for a while but i was with robert (one of his friends) but now that i aint he has really wanted to talk to me but never got up the nerve. idk why guess the guys is completely hott! every girl in school wants him! anyways so guess what??!! so that day that i found out about camron robert texted me and i told him about it and he was like you know what would make him mad and i said what and he siad that if i got back together with him... so now he texts me all the time and calls me.. we talked for three hours last night..he wants to get back together but idk cause everytime we are dating he treats me like crap! he will be all sweet until we date and then he goes back to normal... so idk anymore

thanksgiving so far sucks!!

wellits tanksgiving and its suppose to be fun and stuff but for me it aint!! me and cmron are on speaking terms but not together and he keps saying that he just wants to kill himself if he cant be with me but i dont trust him anymore.. he has to earn it back and until then we are just gonna be friends!  now the whole thing with jeremy is just like camron.. i have decided i aint gonne date until i can date him and he said the EXACT same thing.. well i got on his face book today and his status says "missing my babygirl cant wait to see you friday sweetheart" !! he is freaking lieing to me! and he got pissed at me for some guy saying i was dating him! he tells me he loves me and everything and i do love him but he is probably telling her the same thing!! why are guys such jerks!!?? im never gonna date!! im so sick of all their lies!! thats all men do is lie!!

omg i cant believe camron!!

so you know how we broke up a while back.. well we got to talking and he was tellin me how he loves me and cant live without me and junk.. weel i feel for it and started datin him.. well it turns out he is also dating this girl named elizabeth... life suck sometimes!so i told him to hit the road and to never talk to me again!! i couldnt believe him!! well now that im single again guys wont leave me alone!! sometimes i wish i as gay! anyways landyn wants to date, so does dustin, jeremy, james, steven, and johnathan!! i dont think i can handle all this much longer!

long time no post

its been awile since i last posted and it sint cause nothing has been going on either.. its cause i was sick and then very lazy... anyways i think in my last post i said something about alonso liking me... well i really dont text him because of that fact.. i already have enough boy problems... so im stiill going to snowflake with james ! im flying out on th 17th and ill get in around one in the moring and ill get maybe 5 hours sleep before i have to get up and do stuff to get  ready for the dance and go x mas shopping... at one i hae to go to the movies with james then to hastings( tradition) go back to my house get ready.. go to the lake and take pictures then diiner then the dance.... it gets over at midnight and we go get ice  ream after wards.. i probably wont get home till one.. lovely right!! the next day im doing a dozen things with johnathan!! and on and on down my line of friends..any minute free goes to jeremy:) so lately he hasnt been texting me and i got really worried well today boots texted me asking me if i was cheating in him with this guy named cory ford(btw dont even know who this is) and i said no...and thewn it hit me! thats why he hasnt been talking to me... he asked me a couple of days ago if i knew the guy and i said no and that was the end of it.. i texted him and asked what was going on and he said two people told him and he oesnt know what to belive so i called anna who is like my sister and she called him and threewayed it.. he said that he loves me and is gonna believe me over them !! im so happy i got my babby back!!!

Boy list

I realized it might get confusing between all the guys in my life so im gonna get them straight for you

Alonso- likes me and wants to ask me out
Justin(boots)- really likes me and thinks he is gonna get a chance
Camron- loves me and wants to get married
canyon- likes me but really only wants to "get with me"
casey- ex boyfriend and wants to get back together
chad- ex boyfriend and always wants me back no matter how many times i say no!
Chaise- we hooked up and he still wants to date me..
chapin- ex boyfriend and wants to get back together
Cody- just a friend
Dalton- we were gonna married but he dumped me but he says he still loves me
Dillan- has wanted to date me since the 9th grade and says he loves me
James- my best friend since i moved to russellville an di do have feelinhs for him but im scared
Jeremy- my"boyfriend" sorta i mean we are wating for eachother so we can try again. i really like him
Johnathan- ex boyfriend and wants to get back together
jon- party buddy
Josh- this guy who wont leave me alone he says he will wait forever and i plan on making him wait that long.
Landyn- i meet him a maplewood academy and i guess we are "buddys"
Nathan- dated and he is a complete ass! he thinks we will get back together
Robert- ex boyfriend and we will always just stay friends
Travis Gagnon- we were together but i dumped him cause he was kinda a jerk and plus i dumped him for nathan. he want to marry me!
travis gardner- he just wants a chance but i dont know if he will ever get one.
Camron- he doesnt want to be with anyone but me and if i dont cate him he sayd he will kill himself. he really just needs to get over me.

Day Three... not so bad

day three wasnt so bad...it was a block schedule and i only had to go to odd classes and i didnt have class fifth period so i got lunch and fifth off... two hour break!! i called my aunt and went shopping and went out to lunch... all together it was a good day. and guess what! i get two hours off every thursday!! omg you wont believe what happened to me last night! ok so i was just laying on the couch watching Criminal Minds and my friend Alonso texted me and asked when i was coming back cause he really missed me... well i told him this summer for a visit and he got all sad and sadi he had to tell me something but now that i aint really coming back there was no point...i got him to tell me and guess what??!! he said he was gonna ask me out cause he really liked me and he loves my smile! i always kinda liked him so that made my day!

day two:/

so day two was kinda interesting...i went to first period instead of second, man did i feel like a moron! we have a block schedule wensday(even classes) and thursday(odd classes) and its so confusing! so second period i have us history and to be honest i think the teacher has no clue what she is talking about... we are learning about the civil war and the whole hour and a half was a movie. turns out thats all it ever is! dont get me wrong i dont mind having lazy days but i love history and i actually wanna learn about it! alot of people think im a stupid inbreed hillbilly... cant wait to prove them wrong!! well fourth period i had chemistry and the teacher is from clarksville! he went to collage at tech in russellville! its kinda nice to have someone know what its really like down there! he took me to the peer helpers and they seemed really nice:) there was this guy and he was joking around with me about how it never snows down there... he keeps saying i dont know what ski's or snow looks like! it so funny and to be honest he is kinda cute....i know that i have enough boy problems between camron, jeremy,james, and now landyn but they all live so far away... and to be honest i dont know if im gonna move back next year... i like it here and i dont feel like dealing with everything back home.. i let james read that story and he thinks it about us but i really didnt mean it to be so now he wont leave me alone... dont get me wrong he is my best friend and i do care for him but im realizing that it really isnt like that and that it probably wouldnt work. i have no clue how to tell him that.. ill figure it out.. so anyways at lunch i sat with this girl from chemistry adn she invited me to eat with her at panda exprss tomorrow but idk if i wanna ask for the money... ill proabably just eat at mcdonalds..