haye yall :))

wow it has been ages since i last postd ! well here is everything thats happened since then. i dated this dude andy and we probably dated for a month anda half then he dumped me two days before i was about to come home. i really liked him but oh well we might get back together soon so its all good. well on my way home i meet this dude named chris and well.. we kinda did stuff .. i know that im a complete whore but at least i know i am.. so i got home and this dude i have liked since ever started talking to me and saturday i stayed the night with and we did stuff and he says he wants us to work out and stuff but he wont eer text me back so oh well i guess... oh well now there is this dude christian who i really like and is kinda cute so i think maybe im gonna date hm :))

awsome weekend

so i dumped cameron. i know what your sayiny "its about time" but it was really hard to do. so this is what happened. i went and stayed the night with my cousin amber and her fienece J. they have this baby girl named anna she is so cute. anyways cameron was being a real jerk so i told him it was over and to never talk to me. he keeps calling me a hoe on facebook and stuff but i dont care. i met this guy AJ who lives next to amber . he's 16 and super cute. he asked me out last night and i thougth what the heck why not. so we started dating on Christmas. he is really shy though which isnt a bad thing either. i dont have to worry about moving to fast and end up doing something i dont want to do. AJ does BMXing and is really good at it. we went to the skate park and i watched him do tricks and stuff. he was really shy cause i was there and he didnt want to wipe out infront of me.  if he did(which he didnt) i wouldnt think he was a loser or anything cause it takes guts and skills to do that kind of stuff. so i have my little sister over for the week and she like AJ. lol so when they finally took me home AJ came in and meet my uncle it was so funny cause he was standing in the doorway to scared to come in but when he did it was so cute he didnt leave my side. i went outside to say goodbye and give him his hat back and i hugged him. i didnt expect a kiss or anything cause he is really shy but as i pulled away he suprised me with a kiss! it was so cute!!

I totally need to excape!!

so get this i woke up this and went down stairs to use the bathroom and my aunt was in there going through stuff! seriously?? like what would i be hiding in there beside bathroom stuff?? why the heck id she going through all of my stuff? does she think im on drugs or something? i can take a drug test right now and pass! i dont do that crap cause i saw first hand what it can do to people! my sperm donor was a drug addict and he left me and my mom for that carp i dont want to be like that!! thank the lord im leave to go home for spring break!! i need a break form this crazyness!!

FML!!

so talk about a bad trade.. my psyco mom for my over controling aunt. she is driving me crazy!! she stalks me on facebook, myspace, twitter, and any other sites she knows im a member of. im glad she doesnt know about this one. she would probably read it all and lock me in my room till i die of old age. she tells me what to wear, how i need to do my hair, when and what i can eat, she listens to every one of my phone calls, and goes through my phone which i pay for not her. any guy on facebook who was my friend or takling me deleted me cause she says i need to focus more on school. i have straight a's and in all AP classes on top of that i volunteer at the animal rescue shelter tusedays and thurdays after school, wendsdays she made me join math club (so nerdy btw) , monday and friday i get to work from 5 to 8:30 and meal on wheels. and as for my weekends im not allowed to go to anyones house unless they know the parents personally! so much for hangin out with what friends i have!! i work every weekend in the freezing cold!! this life sucks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

long time no blog

so i havent i blogged in a long time and i guess its cause life is just really shity right now. i basically told all the guys in my life to leave me alone and i dont ever talk to my mother anymore.she sent me a christmas card in the mail today that only said best wishes and merry christmas. i guess thats what happens when a parent really doesnt want her child anymore. i never thought i would feel this numb. i feel like im just a ghost in life. like no one notices or cares about me. oh well i guess just have to try and live life....

december now

well now that its december im going to try and forget everything bad that happened in november.. which means basically everything... oh well there aint nothing i can do about it.. so since my last post nothing has really happened.. except that me and camron are back togehter and he really likes me but i dont think i have the same feelings for him.. i dont get those butterflys wheni think about him and it doesnt make my day when he texts me or any of that stuff.. i think im just with him cause im so lonely. it makes since so i think im gonna end it.. he is gonna make a big deal out of it and threaten to kill himself again which i feel bad when he does but this time i aint gonna get back with him.. i cant just be with him cause he has a crush on me.. plus im so done with men! all they want is sex and once you give it to them your no better than the dirt under their shoes
!

life as usual

life is going the same as usual.. sucky! my parents told me yesterday that they didnt want me home for christmas cause ill ruin their perfect family. and that i abuse my mother and they dont want me there to do that to her!! that all bull shit to me! i never abused my mom she abused me.. she told me a bunch of stuff that no mother should tell her child so i guess whatever i guess im staying here for christams! james is really sad about it cause he was so excited about the dance and best friends day... but he knows that if i go back there when my mom is acting like this she wont let me come back here.. so i get like 9 christmas things to go to.. i get a dorid for christmas so i can blog all the time:) anyways so guys news... jeremy told me they werent dating but i still dont believe him and camron says he is going to ask me to marry him!! idk if thats gonna work out with me cause there cant be a relationship without trust..plus i told him that i do have other guys im talking to so he knows everything... omg so there is this guy i have had a crush on sine forever and he chated me on facebook and i was down stairs and when i came back up i inboxed him and he told me to text him! now he wants to take me to the movies and stuff cause he said he liked me for a while but i was with robert (one of his friends) but now that i aint he has really wanted to talk to me but never got up the nerve. idk why guess the guys is completely hott! every girl in school wants him! anyways so guess what??!! so that day that i found out about camron robert texted me and i told him about it and he was like you know what would make him mad and i said what and he siad that if i got back together with him... so now he texts me all the time and calls me.. we talked for three hours last night..he wants to get back together but idk cause everytime we are dating he treats me like crap! he will be all sweet until we date and then he goes back to normal... so idk anymore

thanksgiving so far sucks!!

wellits tanksgiving and its suppose to be fun and stuff but for me it aint!! me and cmron are on speaking terms but not together and he keps saying that he just wants to kill himself if he cant be with me but i dont trust him anymore.. he has to earn it back and until then we are just gonna be friends!  now the whole thing with jeremy is just like camron.. i have decided i aint gonne date until i can date him and he said the EXACT same thing.. well i got on his face book today and his status says "missing my babygirl cant wait to see you friday sweetheart" !! he is freaking lieing to me! and he got pissed at me for some guy saying i was dating him! he tells me he loves me and everything and i do love him but he is probably telling her the same thing!! why are guys such jerks!!?? im never gonna date!! im so sick of all their lies!! thats all men do is lie!!

omg i cant believe camron!!

so you know how we broke up a while back.. well we got to talking and he was tellin me how he loves me and cant live without me and junk.. weel i feel for it and started datin him.. well it turns out he is also dating this girl named elizabeth... life suck sometimes!so i told him to hit the road and to never talk to me again!! i couldnt believe him!! well now that im single again guys wont leave me alone!! sometimes i wish i as gay! anyways landyn wants to date, so does dustin, jeremy, james, steven, and johnathan!! i dont think i can handle all this much longer!

long time no post

its been awile since i last posted and it sint cause nothing has been going on either.. its cause i was sick and then very lazy... anyways i think in my last post i said something about alonso liking me... well i really dont text him because of that fact.. i already have enough boy problems... so im stiill going to snowflake with james ! im flying out on th 17th and ill get in around one in the moring and ill get maybe 5 hours sleep before i have to get up and do stuff to get  ready for the dance and go x mas shopping... at one i hae to go to the movies with james then to hastings( tradition) go back to my house get ready.. go to the lake and take pictures then diiner then the dance.... it gets over at midnight and we go get ice  ream after wards.. i probably wont get home till one.. lovely right!! the next day im doing a dozen things with johnathan!! and on and on down my line of friends..any minute free goes to jeremy:) so lately he hasnt been texting me and i got really worried well today boots texted me asking me if i was cheating in him with this guy named cory ford(btw dont even know who this is) and i said no...and thewn it hit me! thats why he hasnt been talking to me... he asked me a couple of days ago if i knew the guy and i said no and that was the end of it.. i texted him and asked what was going on and he said two people told him and he oesnt know what to belive so i called anna who is like my sister and she called him and threewayed it.. he said that he loves me and is gonna believe me over them !! im so happy i got my babby back!!!

Boy list

I realized it might get confusing between all the guys in my life so im gonna get them straight for you

Alonso- likes me and wants to ask me out
Justin(boots)- really likes me and thinks he is gonna get a chance
Camron- loves me and wants to get married
canyon- likes me but really only wants to "get with me"
casey- ex boyfriend and wants to get back together
chad- ex boyfriend and always wants me back no matter how many times i say no!
Chaise- we hooked up and he still wants to date me..
chapin- ex boyfriend and wants to get back together
Cody- just a friend
Dalton- we were gonna married but he dumped me but he says he still loves me
Dillan- has wanted to date me since the 9th grade and says he loves me
James- my best friend since i moved to russellville an di do have feelinhs for him but im scared
Jeremy- my"boyfriend" sorta i mean we are wating for eachother so we can try again. i really like him
Johnathan- ex boyfriend and wants to get back together
jon- party buddy
Josh- this guy who wont leave me alone he says he will wait forever and i plan on making him wait that long.
Landyn- i meet him a maplewood academy and i guess we are "buddys"
Nathan- dated and he is a complete ass! he thinks we will get back together
Robert- ex boyfriend and we will always just stay friends
Travis Gagnon- we were together but i dumped him cause he was kinda a jerk and plus i dumped him for nathan. he want to marry me!
travis gardner- he just wants a chance but i dont know if he will ever get one.
Camron- he doesnt want to be with anyone but me and if i dont cate him he sayd he will kill himself. he really just needs to get over me.

Day Three... not so bad

day three wasnt so bad...it was a block schedule and i only had to go to odd classes and i didnt have class fifth period so i got lunch and fifth off... two hour break!! i called my aunt and went shopping and went out to lunch... all together it was a good day. and guess what! i get two hours off every thursday!! omg you wont believe what happened to me last night! ok so i was just laying on the couch watching Criminal Minds and my friend Alonso texted me and asked when i was coming back cause he really missed me... well i told him this summer for a visit and he got all sad and sadi he had to tell me something but now that i aint really coming back there was no point...i got him to tell me and guess what??!! he said he was gonna ask me out cause he really liked me and he loves my smile! i always kinda liked him so that made my day!

day two:/

so day two was kinda interesting...i went to first period instead of second, man did i feel like a moron! we have a block schedule wensday(even classes) and thursday(odd classes) and its so confusing! so second period i have us history and to be honest i think the teacher has no clue what she is talking about... we are learning about the civil war and the whole hour and a half was a movie. turns out thats all it ever is! dont get me wrong i dont mind having lazy days but i love history and i actually wanna learn about it! alot of people think im a stupid inbreed hillbilly... cant wait to prove them wrong!! well fourth period i had chemistry and the teacher is from clarksville! he went to collage at tech in russellville! its kinda nice to have someone know what its really like down there! he took me to the peer helpers and they seemed really nice:) there was this guy and he was joking around with me about how it never snows down there... he keeps saying i dont know what ski's or snow looks like! it so funny and to be honest he is kinda cute....i know that i have enough boy problems between camron, jeremy,james, and now landyn but they all live so far away... and to be honest i dont know if im gonna move back next year... i like it here and i dont feel like dealing with everything back home.. i let james read that story and he thinks it about us but i really didnt mean it to be so now he wont leave me alone... dont get me wrong he is my best friend and i do care for him but im realizing that it really isnt like that and that it probably wouldnt work. i have no clue how to tell him that.. ill figure it out.. so anyways at lunch i sat with this girl from chemistry adn she invited me to eat with her at panda exprss tomorrow but idk if i wanna ask for the money... ill proabably just eat at mcdonalds..

Creative writting Story

 Standing in the door way of her new home, looking at her family playing in the floor. A memory flashed across her thoughts. It was a cold night in September during her senior year of high school. She was playing monopoly with her little brother Nathan. She was losing pretty bad due to the fact that she couldn’t focus on the game. Instead her thoughts were on her best friend Landyn. They had been together since the eighth grade and by each other’s side every second of the day. Although lately they hadn’t been spending much time together. He had been acting very strange lately. Just yesterday he called and cancelled Sunday football and the movies Saturday night. Also that Friday night we would not be playing so it would be best if she didn’t come at all. At first she thought he had a girlfriend and he didn’t want her to scare her off. Then her mind thought that something was wrong with him. Something must be going on with his family. Although she couldn’t prove it the thoughts kept coming back. Frankly it was starting to worry her so bad she couldn’t sleep.


The phone rang pulling her out of these scary thoughts. At first she thought her mom would get it so she continued to play with Nathan. After the third ring she got up to answer.

"Smith residents, Kaitlyn speaking." Her family had always been very formal and it made her feel funny answering the phone like that.

“Kaitlyn its Landyn, can I ask you a favor?" his voice sounded scared and concerned. It sounded like he was terrified she would say no.

"What’s wrong? Are you ok? You sound like you are in trouble or something?"

“I’m fine Kaitlyn stop worrying so much! Gosh sometimes your worse than my mother!" He laughed as he said those words, but she could tell it was forced.

“Ok fine, Ill calm down. So what’s this favor you need? It better not be anything involving jail! Ha-ha I’m just kidding." she hoped that would make him laugh. He had never been the kind to get in any trouble. Being the captain of the football team and a member of student council along with a dozen other clubs has its pluses!

“Can you meet me at our tree in five minutes? I really need to talk to you privately." With those simple words her heart dropped and concern filled the hole where it had been. She knew something was wrong.

“I thought you said nothing was wrong!" she said basically yelling in the phone.

“Nothing is wrong. I promise. Now just meet me in five at our tree.” And with that he hung up the phone. She ran up stairs to her room and grasped the keys to her car and a jacket. Passing by her mother’s room to inform her where she was going and that she would be back by curfew. Nathan was upset that the game was over and he couldn’t beat her anymore than he already was.

As she got into her car to start it memories flashed over her of the past summer when Landyn and her had spent every day rebuilding her car. It was a '67 Camero. They had found it together online and decided to make it their summer project. It was going to be his but he surprised her on her birthday with it. He had done all the work. Mainly because she knew absolutely nothing about cars. That didn’t stop them though. They work from the moment the sun came up till long after the sun was gone from the sky.

With a quick turn of the key the engine fired up with a load rawer. She smiled at the thought of Landyn smiling every time he hear that sound. Slowly she backed out of the driveway pulling out onto the quiet little street. With a small tap on the gas she was off. The drive was only a few blocks and she could have walked but she loved driving her new car.

As she drove she passed little trees that were planted just last year. It was a project her and some friends did. They had seen online that during the ice storm during that winter that some trees had been knocked down. Some of them had to be cut because of the power lines. Landyn and her presented the project to the Peace Club and they were all for it.

So lost in thought Kaitlyn almost pasted the parking lot. Stopping just in time to make the turn she hit the brakes and turned on the turning signal. No matter how many times she visits this place she never fails on missing the parking lot. Carefully she turned in, watching her lights run across the park. Catching the side of Landyn’s pants from behind the tree. He turned to see if it was her or not. With a smile at the sight of here he started to walk over to her. Right away she could tell he was thinking hard about something. His hands were in his Levi's and his head was down. He was avoiding looking her in the eye until he had to.

"You know you could have just come over to my house considering it’s about three houses down." Kaitlyn said with a laugh hoping to make him smile. Something she really wanted to see. There was something about him that got to her. His laugh and smile made her heart jump. Like a grasshopper in the summer when you run through the field behind her house.

"Yeah I know but to be honest I wanted to talk to you alone because I need to get something off my chest. I've known you a very long time and you know I would do anything for you. We have been by each other’s side almost every second of every day. Over this past week i know i have been acting strange and if it bothered you I’m sorry..." “What are you getting at Landyn because you’re starting to scare me?"

"Well, I love you Kaitlyn. I have for a while and when you talked about going to Prom with Jon I wanted to keep mu distance because it seemed like you liked him." Hearing all this somewhat knocked her off her feet. She was expecting something horrible. This was just the opposite. When he said he loved her Kaitlyn knew that she loved him to. She never thought about it before but when he said those words she knew.

"Please say something" he said with concern in his voice. She looked up at him with tears in her eyes. She wanted to say something to him. Something that would let him know she felt the same, but the words just couldn’t come out. She looked up at him crying, nodded and smiled. That was all she could do.

Landyn reached out and grabbed her, pulling her into him “It’s ok Kaitlyn I know what you want to say. You don’t have to be scared. I’m here and I’m not going to hurt you like the others have. I promise."

She knew the truth of his words.

Fifteen years later looking back on that night she smiles at the life it gave her. The husband she now has and the three beautiful girls. If someone had told her years ago she would marry her best friend Kaitlyn would probably laugh in their faces.

day one at fort collins high

first day of school was pretty interesting! i learned that my creative writting teacher is crazy and has a mouth like a sailor. my chemistry teacher is from clarksville and you can totally tell. oh and get this we are having a dance in a week and im suppose to ask some stranger to go with me ! and to top all that off i have a bottom locker!! lovely right? ok so maybe it wasnt so terrible.. i mean some people were pretty nice.. besides the fact that i had a dozen people ask if i was together with my cousin and if i eat road kill!! i went along with to  road kill part just to gross this girl out. you should have seen her face! PRICELESS!! i think see was about to throw up! oh and get this.. there was this guy who was trippin on acid and flippin out in the bathroom and a bunch of teachers were in there trying to calm him.. this year is gonne be crazy! oh i almost forgot i have to write a short story for creative writing so im going to do it about me and james... its fiction but kinda true.. ill post it when im done

Yaye! one more day of freeedom!!

so i get one more day of freedom! my mom didnt get this paper signed so they wont take me till tomorrow! ong i did so much shopping yesterday i came home and crashed!! only for a little bit when my aunt got home we went to this place called plato's closet.. its got so many cute clothes! Its a second hand shop but the clothes are all really nice and maybe only worn twice! anyways the most funnest thing i ever had to hear happened this morning.... uncle dave and aunt kim gave me the drug, sex, peer presure talk! omg it was so funny... i think they already started reading parenting books... dont get me wrong it was kinda cute to cause you could tell it came right out of the book but you know at least they care enough to give it!

ugh new school

well first off starting a new school is never fun... and this new school is more like a collage!! its huge.. i mean the have to name the hallways like streets so you wont get lost!! and i only saw a small part of it! im so nerves cause im different from everyong else... and to be honest im scared ill be made fun of cause of the way i talk.. hearing me talk you can tell im from the south and plus everyone is probably gonna say that whole sleeping with your cousin joke!! but really we dont do that! oh well i guess ill just have to get over it cause its something i have to face... i couldnt enroll today anyways cause my mom needs to sign some papers so aunt kim can enroll me in school.. so im going to the mall :) shoppin is a girls best friend! no matter what anyones says it always makes girls feel better to eat chocolete and to go shoppin so i think im going to do both :D

Broncos game !

omg it was my first NFL game ever and it was completly amazing! we had seats right over the goal post! they kicked kansas city chiefs but.. i think the end score was Denver 49 Kansas city 29. in the first quarter broncos scored 27 points and chiefs 0!! omg and in the fourth quarter two players were going for the ball and the ran right into each other and the ball went flying into the air and this other guy jumped up and caught it and landed right in the end zone giving the broncos a touch back!! best game i have ever seen! but i think it was only cause it was my first pro-football game!! omg so jeremy has been trying to call me but last night i was at a dinner and the one before that i was at a eagles hockey game..so last night after i got home he finally called me. he told me he really wanted to tell me something but he didnt know how i would react or if i would feel the same way..... yep you guessed it he told me he loves me!! he said he has really been thinkin about it and he knows its true. that it aint  some thing that comes and goes and that cause im in colorado and its not all about the phsyical stuff he realized it! idk if i feel the same but im gettin there:) 

boy news

so you guys know how i asked james to the dance well now he was planning to ask me out but i moved to my aunt kims in colorado... oh ok so i broke up with camron! i was getting ready to go to this party with alicia out at boots and jeremys and i tried to call him cause he wouldnt talk to me and he wouldnt answer then he texted me saying how dare i call him and how could i think that ?!? tasha told him i thought he was cheating on me !! i never thought that!! i tried telling him i didnt say that but he wouldnt believe me over tasha ! totally not gonna work !!! so i dumped him  and now he wont leave me alone saying that he is gonna die with out me and stuff like he loves me and junk.... he barely knows me ! anyways at the party jeremy asked me out and of course i said yes cause the guy is soooo hott!!!  i mean he has a six pack and everything and his truck is totally awesome.. plus he is really popular and has awesome parties all the time !! but he hasnt has a girl friend in a couple of months so he aint a player :) i really like him! and now that i  live in colorado he is waiting for me !! the day i was leaving he came over and stayed all night with me ( no we diidnt do anything) anyways he made me promise  to come back so he can have his chance.. he calls me babe and baby and everything:)

wow

well to much has happened for one post so this is like one of three. umm where to start? ok well lately me and my mom have been fighting a lot ltely and its mainly cause she still thinks im twelve and i dont like being treated like im a child anyways we got into a fight one morning cause the the night before a brought MY CAR back to the house at eleven friday night .. its bull cause it aint a school night and curfew was twelve plus a was gonna stay the night with my friend alicia(not r i couleally i was going to a party with jeremy) anyways so the next morning when i got home she starts yellin at me!! says that i need to buy MY CAR FROM HER!!!! i know its messed up!! i couldnt take it anymore so i called up my birth day and aunt kim and told them a needed to get out of there... i mean my mom was saying some really messed up stuff and i wasnt keep putting up with it