haye yall :))

wow it has been ages since i last postd ! well here is everything thats happened since then. i dated this dude andy and we probably dated for a month anda half then he dumped me two days before i was about to come home. i really liked him but oh well we might get back together soon so its all good. well on my way home i meet this dude named chris and well.. we kinda did stuff .. i know that im a complete whore but at least i know i am.. so i got home and this dude i have liked since ever started talking to me and saturday i stayed the night with and we did stuff and he says he wants us to work out and stuff but he wont eer text me back so oh well i guess... oh well now there is this dude christian who i really like and is kinda cute so i think maybe im gonna date hm :))

awsome weekend

so i dumped cameron. i know what your sayiny "its about time" but it was really hard to do. so this is what happened. i went and stayed the night with my cousin amber and her fienece J. they have this baby girl named anna she is so cute. anyways cameron was being a real jerk so i told him it was over and to never talk to me. he keeps calling me a hoe on facebook and stuff but i dont care. i met this guy AJ who lives next to amber . he's 16 and super cute. he asked me out last night and i thougth what the heck why not. so we started dating on Christmas. he is really shy though which isnt a bad thing either. i dont have to worry about moving to fast and end up doing something i dont want to do. AJ does BMXing and is really good at it. we went to the skate park and i watched him do tricks and stuff. he was really shy cause i was there and he didnt want to wipe out infront of me.  if he did(which he didnt) i wouldnt think he was a loser or anything cause it takes guts and skills to do that kind of stuff. so i have my little sister over for the week and she like AJ. lol so when they finally took me home AJ came in and meet my uncle it was so funny cause he was standing in the doorway to scared to come in but when he did it was so cute he didnt leave my side. i went outside to say goodbye and give him his hat back and i hugged him. i didnt expect a kiss or anything cause he is really shy but as i pulled away he suprised me with a kiss! it was so cute!!

I totally need to excape!!

so get this i woke up this and went down stairs to use the bathroom and my aunt was in there going through stuff! seriously?? like what would i be hiding in there beside bathroom stuff?? why the heck id she going through all of my stuff? does she think im on drugs or something? i can take a drug test right now and pass! i dont do that crap cause i saw first hand what it can do to people! my sperm donor was a drug addict and he left me and my mom for that carp i dont want to be like that!! thank the lord im leave to go home for spring break!! i need a break form this crazyness!!

FML!!

so talk about a bad trade.. my psyco mom for my over controling aunt. she is driving me crazy!! she stalks me on facebook, myspace, twitter, and any other sites she knows im a member of. im glad she doesnt know about this one. she would probably read it all and lock me in my room till i die of old age. she tells me what to wear, how i need to do my hair, when and what i can eat, she listens to every one of my phone calls, and goes through my phone which i pay for not her. any guy on facebook who was my friend or takling me deleted me cause she says i need to focus more on school. i have straight a's and in all AP classes on top of that i volunteer at the animal rescue shelter tusedays and thurdays after school, wendsdays she made me join math club (so nerdy btw) , monday and friday i get to work from 5 to 8:30 and meal on wheels. and as for my weekends im not allowed to go to anyones house unless they know the parents personally! so much for hangin out with what friends i have!! i work every weekend in the freezing cold!! this life sucks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

long time no blog

so i havent i blogged in a long time and i guess its cause life is just really shity right now. i basically told all the guys in my life to leave me alone and i dont ever talk to my mother anymore.she sent me a christmas card in the mail today that only said best wishes and merry christmas. i guess thats what happens when a parent really doesnt want her child anymore. i never thought i would feel this numb. i feel like im just a ghost in life. like no one notices or cares about me. oh well i guess just have to try and live life....

december now

well now that its december im going to try and forget everything bad that happened in november.. which means basically everything... oh well there aint nothing i can do about it.. so since my last post nothing has really happened.. except that me and camron are back togehter and he really likes me but i dont think i have the same feelings for him.. i dont get those butterflys wheni think about him and it doesnt make my day when he texts me or any of that stuff.. i think im just with him cause im so lonely. it makes since so i think im gonna end it.. he is gonna make a big deal out of it and threaten to kill himself again which i feel bad when he does but this time i aint gonna get back with him.. i cant just be with him cause he has a crush on me.. plus im so done with men! all they want is sex and once you give it to them your no better than the dirt under their shoes
!

life as usual

life is going the same as usual.. sucky! my parents told me yesterday that they didnt want me home for christmas cause ill ruin their perfect family. and that i abuse my mother and they dont want me there to do that to her!! that all bull shit to me! i never abused my mom she abused me.. she told me a bunch of stuff that no mother should tell her child so i guess whatever i guess im staying here for christams! james is really sad about it cause he was so excited about the dance and best friends day... but he knows that if i go back there when my mom is acting like this she wont let me come back here.. so i get like 9 christmas things to go to.. i get a dorid for christmas so i can blog all the time:) anyways so guys news... jeremy told me they werent dating but i still dont believe him and camron says he is going to ask me to marry him!! idk if thats gonna work out with me cause there cant be a relationship without trust..plus i told him that i do have other guys im talking to so he knows everything... omg so there is this guy i have had a crush on sine forever and he chated me on facebook and i was down stairs and when i came back up i inboxed him and he told me to text him! now he wants to take me to the movies and stuff cause he said he liked me for a while but i was with robert (one of his friends) but now that i aint he has really wanted to talk to me but never got up the nerve. idk why guess the guys is completely hott! every girl in school wants him! anyways so guess what??!! so that day that i found out about camron robert texted me and i told him about it and he was like you know what would make him mad and i said what and he siad that if i got back together with him... so now he texts me all the time and calls me.. we talked for three hours last night..he wants to get back together but idk cause everytime we are dating he treats me like crap! he will be all sweet until we date and then he goes back to normal... so idk anymore